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Naming Hopes, Not Setting Expectations

January 14, 2019

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Naming Hopes, Not Setting Expectations

January 14, 2019

I have this problem where I can't do something if everyone is doing it. Or I can't like something if everyone else likes it. For example, I can't read, Girl, Wash Your Face because everyone has read it, even though I know there is likely some valuable insights in it. Also, I was my face pretty regularly, so I don't feel like that advice applies to me. 

 

Same thing goes for New Year's resolutions. I just cannot make a resolution, because that's what people do in the new year. BUT I also can't not make a resolution, because it's also popular to think resolutions are dumb. See? It's maddening. 

 

So this year, on January 1st, my husband and I sat down and made some goals for the year. Here's the process we went through and what it's looked like since. (Yes. It's barely mid-January. So that's not saying much.)

 

1. HOPES AND ROUTINES, NOT EXPECTATIONS AND RESOLUTIONS

 

Okay, I'm not super resolute or resolved. I'm kind of a 'if it's not working, let's figure something else out' type of lady. Therefore, making a resolution (only to fail and then give it up) doesn't really work for me. Instead, we decided to think of some hopes or goals we had for the year, and then tried to focus on the types of habits or routines that would help achieve those goals. 

 

2. FIVE MINUTES OF FREE WRITING

 

We set the phone timer for five minutes and each wrote (separately) hopes and goals we had for the year. Some things I wrote: sell 100 DIY Bride Guides this year, have a kid-free office day once a week even on weeks when I don't have weddings, go on two overnights with Taylor this year (a goal because we will have a two year old and an infant, but momma needs her solo time with papa), and pray more with Taylor for our children. I won't share any of Taylor's because he's more private than I am. Just kidding, I will, because he doesn't read this anyway. Some of his included paying off student loans, going away with me overnight, and fixing up the house. 

 

Pic of a tiny slice of Taylor's free-writing lists, and the mood board I made as homework from some late 2018 education: Jessica Zimmerman's Bloomer Intensive.

 

 

 

 

3. SHARING AND NARROWING

 

Then, we took turns reading the goals to each other. It was fun to see how many lined up, and which were different because we have different needs and priorities! Then we both went through, again separately, and picked one goal for each of the following categories: personal, relational, work, and financial. We circled the one goal, for each category, that would have the biggest impact on our overall wellness and family health for this year. 

 

pic of our lists ft. my hand in the reflection of th